Unsolved Mysteries and the 2018 New England Patriots

Scene and Action!  Robert Stack comes in from a foggy road "join us and you might be able to help us solve...a mystery.  Cut to Keely Shaye Smith staring the camera down describing the mysteries that are unfolding at Patriot Place.  The Patriots, coming off of a thrilling OT Super bowl win over the Falcons, were looking to make it three Super Bowl wins in 4 years.  But in the days leading up to the Super Bowl and definitely the days after the devastating loss, some questions remained unanswered:

What the Hell is going on down there?

Tom Brady.  In what was supposed to be a thinly veiled infomercial for TB12, Tom vs. Time was actually quite enjoyable.  Showing Tom Brady as a human being - dealing with his kids, making fun of his friends and taking to coaching from Tom House of all people - actually made me like him more than I already did.  The idea is that Brady IS actually a good guy.  If you cut out some of the creepier moments, particularly the ones that featured Robert Guerrero, and this was Emmy worthy.  But the question lingers...why did he release these videos in the week before the Super Bowl?  Were they released to show that Tom was actually a good guy, and not the Machiavellian puppetmaster who engineered a Jimmy G trade to the 49ers?  And what about that alligator in his TB Times?

Bill Belichick.  Malcolm Butler?  I understand that Butler is undersized so he is not a great matchup on the Eagles taller wide receivers. But when it was clear that Eric Rowe and Jordan Richards could not cover or tackle ANYONE, would it not be a smart move to see if Butler could make a difference, especially given that he would be fired up for the benching?  Even on 3rd and long when it was clear that the Eagles had to pass to a receiver?  So clearly something happened in the week before the Super Bowl and the Patriots agreed to not call it discipline so Butler's value would not be further diminished.  What is it with undersized athletes from Boston and their fortunes when Boston is done with them? Isaiah Thomas is shrugging his shoulders as we speak.

Rob Gronkowski.  Will he retire or not?  I'm kind of tired of this guy.  He always hurt, he always says or does something stupid.  And now he is taking advice from the Rock that he should become a movie star.  Have you seen him answer questions?  He's too goofy to be in a movie like San Andreas or Skyscraper.  And then, what happened to his Foxboro home.  Someone stole his SAFE and other belongings.  Does this guy not have security?  Even I have a security system, and I'm a schlep.

Josh McDaniels.  Man, this guy is wishy washy as all get out, huh?  He took his name out of the running last year for a couple of jobs.  This year, the Colts issued a press release introducing McDaniels has their new coach.  During his exit interview IN FOXBORO of all places with Bob Kraft, something happened.  McDaniels did an about face and said he was staying.  If coach goes, I go.  Was he promised the head coaching position in a year or two?  Was he given the ability to draft his own quarterback this April?  Was he given a tour of the Eye?  No one knows and in true Patriot fashion, no one is talking.

The cult of personality in Foxboro is unlike any other place in sports.  No one talks.  The players, even the ones with personality, always look like they are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.  When players leave, they usually get hurt or fade away into oblivion.  Something is going on in Foxboro, and I'm getting apprehensive just thinking about it.  Hopefully there is some sort of update next season saying that a caller knows whats going on.

Opening Night for the Pats - 2015 for Us All

The 2015 Patriots.  Opening night!  Between Bob Costas, Train and Ellie Goulding, I had grown tired of the pre game festivities.  An hour of looking at people in California dancing to crappy songs was enough to almost put Mike Felger on.  Almost. 

After all of the suspension talk, after all of the hype surrounding whether Edelman and LeFell would play, after all the talk about whether the Patriots were going to win the AFC East, it was finally to put up or shut up on the field.

Patriot Hall of Famers Troy Brown, Willie McGinest and Ty Law brought out the first three trophies; I have to admit, those red jackets still look pretty cool.  Tony Eason and Drew Bledsoe were unavailable to bring out the runner-up trophies for some reason.  T-Pain was rapping (T-Pain?).  The boys and I wondered who would bring out the 2014 trophy.  Insert stupid joke here.  I thought it would be Darelle Revis.  The boys had no idea.  Suspense builds...and, of course, Bob Kraft brings out the 2014 Trophy.  With his sweet kicks.

The 2014 Banner is raised.  All I do is win, screams T-Pain.  And of course Cris and Al try to squash the excitement with Deflate gate talk.  Although Al Michaels does talk about "Us against the World," which gets me fired up for some reason, maybe it's my belief that Al Michaels will still talk about believing in miracles.  I'll be OK.

From 2013, but still!!

First play is a little wrong as there is no contain on the right side.  Second play gains 9 yards.  Third play for a first down.  Both boys start crying about how the Patriots were not going to be as good this year.

"After three plays you know this?"  I incredulously ask.

"Yes, Dad.  They lost all of their good defensive guys!" C shouts back at me.  Missed Field Goal is all they could muster during his rant though.  Patriots ball!

A lot of back and forth and a lot of punts.  Don't forget about the headsets not working.  0-0 at the end of the First Quarter.  I do like what Dion Lewis is doing and makes me think that the patriots knew what they were doing when Jonas Gray was released.

Gronk!!  With the Seam Pass and then a little pass as he was uncovered down the right side for a touchdown.  7-0 Patriots with 11 minutes left in the Second Quarter.

Gronk!!  A little seam pass from the 5 yard line and now it's 14-0 with 4 minutes left in the first half.  C asks me how tall Gronkowski is.  That should tell you all you need to know.

14-3 Patriots at the end of the First Half.

Gronk!!!  No, no wait, that was Chandler with the 2 yard TD pass to make it 21-3 with 10:30 left in the Third Quarter.  Although with no TDs or big plays, Julian Edelman is having a huge game, catching 6 passes on Third Down for First downs.

The Steelers then come back with a TD of their own to make it 21-11.  Big Ben seems to have gotten hurt on the pay before.  We'll keep an eye out on that one.  Never mind, he's back out there to lead the Steelers to another field goal, making it a 7 point game.

Gronk!!  He recovers a Dion Lewis fumble to score the touchdown.  What can he not do?  I know, he was at the right place at the right time, but still, I would have been on the opposite side of the field running my Cornerback off.  Nevermind, not a touchdown.  Fantasy players deflate all at once.  Wait...Gronk!! Third Touchdown on a little fade pass to the left.  28-14.  4 Touchdown passes from Tom Brady, all to the TEs.

Chants of "Where is Roger?" start echoing through the stadium.  I think I know where he isn't.  Security and all.  It doesn't matter as time expires on the Steelers, 28-21.  Patriots win!

See you next week. 

JMR's Game Blog - 2012 AFC and NFC Championships

The games this weekend are shaping up to be some of the most interesting NFC and AFC Championships we've seen in years.  Whether it's Joe Flacco vs. Ed Reed, Bernard Pollard vs. Tom Brady's knee, the general lunacy of Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs, a possible rematch of the 2008 Super Bowl between the Patriots and the Giants or the sudden emergence of Alex Smith as a football hero, the subplots this weekend are mind boggling.

Patriots' Secret Weapons.

All this could only mean one thing - the return of the JMR Game Blog.  The rules are easy.  The kids and I pick the games.  Only I know the line, only they know the reasoning behind their answers.  Let's get started.

Giants
49ERS (-3)

G:  49ers.  They crushed the team they faced to get there"  His response was reminiscent of his thought that his basketball team "crushed" his last team, even though his team lost by 8 points.

"The Saints?" I ask him.  When he agrees with me that the 49ers killed the Saints, I was stuck wondering who was watching the game with me last weekend.

S: 49ers.  "Because they beat the Saints.  And the Saints are my FAVORITE team."  She emphasizes "favorite" because she loves wearing the Drew Brees jersey we got her a couple of months ago when we were in New Orleans.  I don't think she could name a single player in football other than her brothers and Drew Brees.

JMR:  Giants.  This Giants team is reminiscent of the 2007-08 Giants team.  They played a great game to just get into the playoffs (a 24-14 trouncing of the Cowboys), which reminded me of Week 17 against the undefeated Patriots, which required a startling comeback (and a great bomb to Randy Moss for Brady's 50th Touchdown Pass) to win that game 38-35.  I think the pass rush will relentlessly pursue a green Alex Smith leading to at least three takeaways. 

And the 49ers secondary was exposed in the Fourth Quarter against the Saints.  While the defense forced 5 turnovers, and won the turnover battle 5-2, the Niners required heroics from Smith to pull the game out.  If the Giants can hold onto the ball, this team and this defense can be beaten.  Giants 27-16.

Ravens (+9)
PATRIOTS


S:  Patriots.  "Because I have the Patriots shirt, too.  And because I want them to win today!!"  She's so excited.  Maybe she'll be the rabid Patriots fan of the family.  Now if only I could stop her from using sharpies on the dry erase boards...
 
G.  Patriots.  "You know I want the Patriots to win, Dad."  When I ask him why he answers me "because they have Tom Brady and Gronkowski and Gronkowski scored 3 touchdowns last week!"  When you're team is one of the teams left in the Playoffs, like this year, everyone gets excited.

JMR.  Patriots.  I think this line is too high.  But one of the first rules of football wagering is to never take the points unless you think your team can win the game outright.  Believe it or not, I think the the 2010 Divisional round game where the Ravens came to Foxboro and destroyed the Patriots was the best thing that could have happened for this Patriots team.  There is a score to settle, even though everyone believes that the Patriots will walk all over the Ravens.  Bill Belichick thrives in those kinds of situations. 

Further, I think the Patriots will key on Ray Rice (when he was more of an unknown quantity in 2010) and make Flacco beat the Patriots with his arm.  I just don't see that happening. 

Oh yeah, we have Gronkowski and Hernandez, and they don't.  Patriots 34 Ravens 24.

photograph courtesy of zimbio.

Are the Indianapolis Colts the Worst Team in NFL History?

For the last 13 years, the Indianapolis Colts game has always been one of the highlights of the Patriots' season.  Piped in noise, the AFC Championship comeback, Fourth and Two - almost all of the games have been memorably decided by less than a touchdown.  Not this year, though.  Peyton Manning is hurt and the Suck for Luck Campaign has gained steam as the weeks of futility have piled up.  Even C asked me why the Colts were so bad.  The question is, are the Indianapolis Colts the Worst Team in NFL History?  Are they New Jersey Nets bad?

Fur Coat guy cracked us up.

Another question to consider is whether Peyton Manning is the MVP of the last 10 years.  All the media types were saying that the Colts still had pro bowl-caliber talent - Saturday, Wayne, Freeney, Addai, etc. - they should not be winless.  Did these guys ever think that the aforementioned players are pro bowl caliber because Manning made them that way and in actuality they just suck?  Remember how bad the Patriots were when Brady got hurt?  Oh yeah, I forgot, never mind.

Foxboro, MA 1pm.  It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in December.  Although I might be the only one to think this, I'm glad that the game got flexed to 1pm.  I'm getting too old to be getting home at 2am on a work night.  Besides, who wants to tailgate in the dark?  C came with me - his first regular season Patriots game  - so I was interested in getting his take on the Tailgate and game crowd, as well as how bad the Colts really were.  There would be questions, too.  Was the drunk 55 year old lady who always sits behind our usual seats going to get all fired up?  Will the guy in the old fashioned football helmet fall down the stairs again?  Will we see the guy in the half fur coat, again?  The options are limitless.  But, so long as the McDonald's near our seats is still open, we'll be all set.

The game started inauspiciously as Belichick went into conservation mode early.  Seeking to exercise some sort of demons, I guess, Kevin Faulk was getting the majority of the carries in the First Quarter.  Even after a Faulk fumble was overturned, he continued to get carries.  Green-Ellis, Ridley and Woodhead were all standing there wondering if they had some sort of escalation clause in their contracts that would have been triggered with carries or yardage.  The crowd started to get restless. (Although C would tell you that that was just me; everyone else was fine).  Meanwhile Dan Orlovsky led the Colts to an unsuccessful First Down on the Patriots one.  Manning would never let that happen.  3-0 after the First Quarter.

After an Adam Vinitieri field goal made it 3-3, the Patriots ended  the half scoring two touchdowns, one by Benjarvis Green-Ellis and the other by the Patriots' 2011 MVP Rob Gronkowski.  The one interesting thing about the Second Quarter was the reception that Vinitieri received.  Who cares that he was booed?  He'll get into the Patriots Hall of Fame.  Look at it this way - if you're wife gave birth to three wonderful children and then a couple of years later left you for a guy with more money, how would you feel?  I booed him, too.  Patriots 17-3.

The Third Quarter played out similar to the Second Quarter.  Two more touchdowns by Gronkowski to make it 31-3.  Some more ineptitude ensued every time the Colts touched the ball.  They can't move the ball at all against the Patriots' Bead Curtain defense.  My cover is looking good and C has only asked me for McDonald's twice.

Ah, but the good time didn't last.  The Fourth Quarter saw three touchdowns unanswered by the Colts, including a miracle 33 yard touchdown by Pierre Garcon with just 30 seconds left.  My cover went to concern after the first touchdown, to praying for a miracle garbage touchdown after the second touchdown to outright despair after the third touchdown.  The game all of a sudden was in doubt until Deion Branch recovered an onside kick with 20 seconds left to bring the game to an end.  Final score 31-24.  Pretty good for the worst team in NFL history.

As we were leaving, I asked C if he thought the Colts were the worst team ever.  He looked at me, after getting over his distress after having to leave early, and said "They looked OK to me."

They'll be even better when they trade Andrew Luck for some team's entire draft next spring.  No matter what I might think, the Colts aren't going to be the worst team for long.