Saturday, February 10, 2018

Unsolved Mysteries and the 2018 New England Patriots

Scene and Action!  Robert Stack comes in from a foggy road "join us and you might be able to help us solve...a mystery.  Cut to Keely Shaye Smith staring the camera down describing the mysteries that are unfolding at Patriot Place.  The Patriots, coming off of a thrilling OT Super bowl win over the Falcons, were looking to make it three Super Bowl wins in 4 years.  But in the days leading up to the Super Bowl and definitely the days after the devastating loss, some questions remained unanswered:

What the Hell is going on down there?

Tom Brady.  In what was supposed to be a thinly veiled infomercial for TB12, Tom vs. Time was actually quite enjoyable.  Showing Tom Brady as a human being - dealing with his kids, making fun of his friends and taking to coaching from Tom House of all people - actually made me like him more than I already did.  The idea is that Brady IS actually a good guy.  If you cut out some of the creepier moments, particularly the ones that featured Robert Guerrero, and this was Emmy worthy.  But the question lingers...why did he release these videos in the week before the Super Bowl?  Were they released to show that Tom was actually a good guy, and not the Machiavellian puppetmaster who engineered a Jimmy G trade to the 49ers?  And what about that alligator in his TB Times?

Bill Belichick.  Malcolm Butler?  I understand that Butler is undersized so he is not a great matchup on the Eagles taller wide receivers. But when it was clear that Eric Rowe and Jordan Richards could not cover or tackle ANYONE, would it not be a smart move to see if Butler could make a difference, especially given that he would be fired up for the benching?  Even on 3rd and long when it was clear that the Eagles had to pass to a receiver?  So clearly something happened in the week before the Super Bowl and the Patriots agreed to not call it discipline so Butler's value would not be further diminished.  What is it with undersized athletes from Boston and their fortunes when Boston is done with them? Isaiah Thomas is shrugging his shoulders as we speak.

Rob Gronkowski.  Will he retire or not?  I'm kind of tired of this guy.  He always hurt, he always says or does something stupid.  And now he is taking advice from the Rock that he should become a movie star.  Have you seen him answer questions?  He's too goofy to be in a movie like San Andreas or Skyscraper.  And then, what happened to his Foxboro home.  Someone stole his SAFE and other belongings.  Does this guy not have security?  Even I have a security system, and I'm a schlep.

Josh McDaniels.  Man, this guy is wishy washy as all get out, huh?  He took his name out of the running last year for a couple of jobs.  This year, the Colts issued a press release introducing McDaniels has their new coach.  During his exit interview IN FOXBORO of all places with Bob Kraft, something happened.  McDaniels did an about face and said he was staying.  If coach goes, I go.  Was he promised the head coaching position in a year or two?  Was he given the ability to draft his own quarterback this April?  Was he given a tour of the Eye?  No one knows and in true Patriot fashion, no one is talking.

The cult of personality in Foxboro is unlike any other place in sports.  No one talks.  The players, even the ones with personality, always look like they are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.  When players leave, they usually get hurt or fade away into oblivion.  Something is going on in Foxboro, and I'm getting apprehensive just thinking about it.  Hopefully there is some sort of update next season saying that a caller knows whats going on.

No comments:

Post a Comment