Saturday, January 9, 2010

Who Can Beat JMann Review? NFL Playoffs Game Blog

The season of my discontent has begun.  So many teams have laid down these last three weeks, that I don't know who can beat whom anymore.  Are the Bengals, Cardinals, Eagles and Patriots the dogs that they looked like last week?  Are the Cowboys and Jets any good despite shaky Quarterbacks and even shakier coaching?  As an added "bonus"  three of the games are week 17 rematches. 

The award-winning handicapping team of C, G and S try to sift through all of the rhetoric and propaganda to pick winners in the four wild card games.  Home teams are on the bottom and in case that doesn't work, they are in ALLCAPS too.

Jets
BENGALS (-3)

C:  Bengals.  "This person in my class wears a Bengals hat and says that the Bengals are really good."  He must have spoken to him before last Sunday.
G:  Jets.  "A jet is like a plane and they will zoom for a touchdown."  This will turn out to be a theme of G's picks.
S:  Jets.  "Because...because we flew in a jet."  I had to prompt that out of her otherwise it would have been "Because" "Because why?" "Because" etc.  I'm just happy that she's helping.

JMR:  Jets.  @OGOchoCinco is hurt, the Bengals looked downright outmatched against the Jets even though they played their starters and shaky quarterbacks aren't important when its cold, windy and you have the best rushing offense in the NFL.  I think the Bengals overachieved this year, and that will lead to a one and out.  Jets 24-7.

Eagles
COWBOYS (-4)

C:  Cowboys.  "Because they throw ropes at people, whip them around and have them fall like dominoes."
G:  Eagles.  "They are a bird and they can zoom for a touchdown!"  "The Cardinals will so crush them." C exclaims.  I begin to start talking about the physilogical differences between eagles and cardinals as a counterpoint, but think better of it.
S:  No pick, too busy packing.

JMR:  Eagles.  Yes, the Cowboys defense has been playing very well recently, including a thrashing of the Eagles in Week 17.  I just can't get over the fact that the Cowboys aren't going anywhere with Wade Phillips or Tony Romo.  Couple that with an Eagles team that had won 6 in a row before Week 17.  I think you will have 21-16 Eagles victory.

Ravens
PATRIOTS (-3.5)

C:  Ravens.  "Because G is going to pick the Patriots."  Not a good reason, so don't count on this pick.
G:  Patriots.  "Because they are the bestest team in world!"  I like them too big man.
S:  Ravens.  "They are pretty birdies."  I had to tell her that a Raven is a bird, although I did not tell her the derivation of the team's name.  Edgar Allen Poe and all.

JMR:  Patriots.  I don't think the Patriots have it this year.  They can't beat anyone on the road.  Wes Welker was a huge loss.  They have a tendency to dissappear against good teams and their inexperienced secondary is vulnerable to a good passing attack.  Luckily, this is all irrelevant for this game.  Patriots 27 Ravens 14.

Green Bay
CARDINALS (+1.5)

C:  Cardinals. 
G:  Packers.  "Pack means to go on vacation in a plane or a car and they can use that plane or car to zoom for a touchdown."  He's just so happy to help me.
S:  Cardinals.  "Because they are funny."  Everyone is funny to her this morning, but I'll go with it.

JMR:  Packers.  I never like taking the road favorite, but the Cardinals had their run last year.  They have too many injuries this year leading into the playoffs - Anquan Boldin and two defensive starters.  The Packers on the other hand finished the second half of the year 7-1, including wins over three teams playng this weekend.

Now time for munchkins, chocolate milk and coffee.  Here we go.

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