Wednesday, September 2, 2009

P90X is Ridiculously Dificult Review

P90X is supposed to give you the beach body that you always wanted. In fact the firm's website is Why don't they use Anyway, the testimonials are striking. No finger in the loose waistline demonstrating that you lost maybe 5 five pounds max using the "Diet Clear" or "Oxyclean" diets that you read about in Parade magazine. These people were ripped!

I finally decided to give it a try myself when friends got it the program from friends of theirs. The program is so damned expensive that these DVDs are shared; I'm convinced that no one actually buys it. I was also skeptical that I could find a place to support my weight doing pull ups, forget about about finding a pull up bar some where in the house. (That's the one item that does not get shared, the pull up bar.) So my journey to P67X has begun. I did the first dvd - chest and back, and am pretty sore even in my legs. Now I'm on to plyometrics. Plyo-x. "Jumping" for an hour is more like it.

7:30am. 10 minutes in. We're introduced to Tony's crew. The first guy is Erik. He has a prosthetic leg and is being required to perform a routine where you are supposed to jump up and around for an hour? You've gotta be kidding me. But, maybe this won't be so tough if a guy with one leg who really doesn't look that buff can do it. Probably not the reaction P90X was hoping for. The final member of the crew is a woman named Pam the Blam. I later find out that she's a PI. Uhh, I hope that she got paid handsomely for this appearance because a million people knowing that you are a PI is NOT good for business.

45 minutes left. After some stretching (the stretching routine is administered and timed by Beachbody's lawyers. "Hey don't blame me for that blown hamstring, you should have stretched!"), we start doing swing kicks, which requires you to swing your legs over some tall object for a minute. I choose to swing my legs over the seat of the chair. Snickering abounds, but hey, my quads are tightly strung and prone to exhaustion.

37 minutes left. I'm starting to tire as I hear the instructor say "Do your best to forget the rest" Is that really what he said? I ask my 3 year old daughter if that's what he said, and she agrees with me. Good girl.

25 minutes left. I'm getting extremely tired now, just in time for guitar hero jumps and Russian squat dancing. I have to admit, these sucked.

9 minutes left. Start shadow pitching right handed and left handed and shadow basketball shooting left and right handed. I never expected that practicing sports left handed and right handed would come in handy like this.

4 minutes left. Finally, I'm done. A couple of minutes of "cool down" that was lawyer-approved followed. Overall, I'm sweating profusely and I feel accomplished very early in morning. I have a favorable review of this program overall. I will not post my before and after pictures when I'm done, though. I think I'm gaining weight.

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