NBA All Star Game - Effort with a Lower Case "e"

After getting home from my 7 year old's Saturday morning basketball game - a game in which he asked out of the game for a break because he couldn't breathe from running so hard - he asked me to play basketball with him.  Looking at my swollen knee from the last time we played basketball (I completed a beautiful spin move and dunked it over his head - fine, it was an 8 foot hoop and maybe he IS 7 years old, but the move was still the move), I suggested that we WATCH basketball instead.  My hope being that he would watch some desperate college teams hustling after loose balls and playing tough denial defense and learn good fundamental basketball.  That lasted for about 10 minutes until his buddy came over - all of sudden I was relegated to watching the Winter Olympics with only passing greetings from all of the children.

Later that night came the renewed request to play basketball outside.  Looking at the thermometer reading of 28 degrees and the lone lightbulb illuminating our driveway, I passed on that request as well, but with a compromise - go to bed early tonight and we can all stay up to watch the 2010 NBA All Star game tomorrow night.  If my boys were going to learn good fundamental basketball consisting of crisp passes, strong rebounding and strong team defense, the NBA All Star Game would be the place.


8:30pm.  Convincing my 5 year old that we are not rooting for the Celtics tonight is proving to be difficult. 

"But there's Rajon Rondo and KG!" he tells me.  "I want the Celtics to win! Do you Dad?"  "Why are they wearing blue instead of green?  Did they change their uniform colors again?"

"No the Celtics didn't change their colors.  Yes.  I want the Celtics to win."  I gave up trying to explain what an "All Star Game" actually means.  I'm too distracted by the Eastern Conference All Stars trying to dance in sync with one another during the player introductions.  I hope that he doesn't ask me about what just happened there or the fact that it's 8:40 and the game still has not started...too late.

My seven year old just tells me that Ray Allen should be in the game too.  "I'd put Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Rajon Rondo on the team, but not Paul Pierce."  He's a tough judge.  Later on, he continues, "He's putting baby powder on?" about LeBron James' pregame ritual.  I don't bother touching that one either.

As the game starts and the Western Conference All Stars take the early lead, I hear the boys say things like "Bad pass!" "Why isn't he playing defense?" "East is doing horrible!" and the best one "Why isn't that guy running very hard?"  I don't have a very good response when they ask me why they don't want to win.  East takes the First Quarter, 37-34.

As the Second Quarter starts and continues, the teams trade interesting plays - no-look passes, fake passes that turn into keepers, alley oops and a strange bounce alley oop attempt by  Dwyane Wade and Rajon Rondo - all punctuated by my seven year old proclaiming "Why aren't they playing defense?  There are two guys standing right there!"  It makes for entertaining, if not fundamentally sound, basketball, I suppose.

In an open mic moment, we hear Lebron James exclaim that Paul Pierce is the best shooter in the history of basketball.  I know Pierce won the 3 point shot contest and all, and I put him in the top 10 of all time Celtics, but the best shooter of all time?  LeBron, sensing a playoff battle in Round 2 of the Playoffs, apparantly is amping up the hyperbole.

While the teams trade baskets and leads for the majority of the Quarter, the Eastern Conference goes into half time leading 76-69.  Craig Sager and his shimmering red tie approve.

As I explain Shakira's appearance (the TV channel couldn't be changed faster) and I break up a wrestling match, the Third Quarter mercifully starts.  A lot more of the same.  Alley Oops, uncontested coast to coast lay ups, bad passing and awful defense.  By this point my 5 year old falls asleep and my seven year old and I are getting bored.  Even a thundering dunk by LeBron James  at the 8 minute mark doesn't stir anything from us but a couple of sniffles - and that might have been the fake fireplace kicking on more than anything the all stars did.

Halfway through the Third Quarter, he exclaims after yet another LeBron James dunk, "They aren't playing any defense.  They're like, you're gonna get it in so whatever."  Do you sense a theme of this game and our reaction to it?  Even Kobe admits that this is "The greatest pick up game in the world."  I wonder what the schmoes who paid $5,000 a ticket think about his assessment?  The East ends the Third Quarter ahead 118-109.

Fourth Quarter.  While lasting longer than I thought they would, both boys have finally fallen asleep.  I think they will both be saying "shoot it!" and "block it!" in their dreams tonight.  While watching the Fourth Quarter by myself, I do have to admit that the quality of play has improved.  No more ridiculous bounce pass alley oop attempts (one was enough, Rajon) and players actually started going to the floor.  The intesity level reaches new highs as well, particularly when Chauncey Billips makes a little 15 footer to tie the game at 137 with 45 seconds left in the game.

After a couple of spotty fouls - come on it's the All Star Game! - the West has the ball with 5 seconds left trailing by 2 points.  Carmelo Anthony takes the inbounds pass and clangs a 3 pointer off the back of the rim, giving the Eastern Conference a 141-139 win.

Looking back, the three of us decided that the All Star Game was not an appropriate venue to learn basketball basics.  Defense was lacking, effort and hustle were sporadic at best and rebounding consisted of whomever picked up the ball from the ground after a missed shot.  Personally, I'd rather watch my seven year old's team battle it out on Saturday mornings.   They don't know alley-oops and behind-the-back passes, and I hope they never learn.

Is Ice Fishing an Official 2010 Winter Olympic Sport?

Except for the most diehard of fans, the Winter Olympics consists only of athletes in parkas and funny looking hats, Bob Costas, figure skating battles and the U.S. Olympic Hockey team.  In fact, when I asked my significant other whether she could name the 15 categories of sports represented at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics, she answered only 10 out of 15 categories correctly.  Four of her other five guesses (Basketball, Volleyball, Tobagganing and Ice Fishing, ICE FISHING?!?!) are not Winter Olympic sports, unfortunately.

This is not a sport, in case you were wondering

Fortunately for you though, JMR is here to briefly guide you through these 15 categories of sports ranked in order of least interesting to most interesting.  Luckily, the 15 sports are easily categorized into three groups - Senseless, Tedious or a combination of one Senseless and one Tedious sport, what I will refer to as "Tediless."

15.  CROSS COUNTRY.  Classical or Freestyle, it's boring to do, and even more boring to watch on TV. (Tedious)

14.  SPEED SKATING.  Watching men and women circle around an oval made of ice is grueling.  I do have to admit that this sport introduces us to not only the charitable stylings of the Stephen Colbert All-Stars, but also of the first athlete to secede from his Country (Shani Davis).  Oh yes, that dude is that crazy. (Tedious)

13.  FIGURE SKATING.  Except for the excruciating story of Tonya Harding, this sport has been devoid of suspense for decades.  Sorry Dick Button and Peggy Fleming.  (Tedious)

12.  CURLING.  In doing research for this post, I found out that the Canadians dominate this sport that was invented by, and that once belonged to, the Scots.  Their best player was some guy nicknamed "the Owl."  Then I discover that the Owl was actually the best skipper for the Canadians when they won the Scottish Cup (Curling World Championship) in 1966, 1968 and 1969.  Oops.  As a side note, behind The Americas Cup, can the Scottish Cup be the second championship named after a country that no longer dominates the sport it invented?  Too bad the World Baseball Classic isn't named the U.S. Baseball Classic. (Tedious)

11.  BIATHALON.  There are few things that can be combined with cross country skiing that would bring the sport out of the "Tedious" category.  Combining the sport, however, with shooting, does the trick.  This has to be the strangest combination of skills in sport, unless you are some sort of hunter-gatherer in Siberia or something.  Plus, with heightened security at the Olympics, isn't this sport the perfect way to sneak in real fire arms...what's stopping some Bulgarian from going crazy on the crowd because he's unhappy with his marksmanship?  "Hey, I'm a biathalete!  Give me back my high powered air rifle!" (Tediless)

10.  NORDIC COMBINED.  Seriously, cross country is so antitaining that they combine it with not one, but two different sports.  This one is with ski-jumping.  This is extremely unrealistic as a pursuit.  (Tediless)

9.  ALPINE SKIING.  Although this is one of the most recognizable sports with some of the most memorable Olympic Champions - Jean-Claude Killy, Bill Johnson, the Mahre Brothers, Picabo Street, and Alberto Tomba, let's just face it, between the Downhill, the Slalom, the Super G and the Combined, there is a whole lot of the same going on for weeks on the ski slopes.  I will admit though that Alpine Skiing gets bumped up to this position since two of the most compelling stories so far in the lead up to the 2010 Vancouver Games are whether Bode Miller has finally grown up (No) and whether Lindsey Vonn is milking her shin injury to increase her marketing potential post olympics (Yes). (Tedious)

8.  SNOWBOARDING.  To give the Americans and Western Europeans a chance to pad their medal stats, the X Games were added to the Winter Games' calendar a couple of years ago.  Fine by me.  The Half Pipe is one of the most interesting competitions. 

The parallel giant slalom just reminds me though of celebrity skiing at Vail that was on Fox Sports New England 10 years ago.  Marilu Henner always seemed to be available for those celebrity ski parties.  Snowboard Cross just appears to be a snowboarding version of the Super G.  Snowboarding does get the nod from my 7 year old for coolest Winter Olympic Sport. (Tediless)

7. FREESTYLE SKIING.  Yet another example of Senseless activities muddled up with Tedious competition.  Moguls?  I challenge you to name a retired Moguls competitor that does not have either a serious and chronic back problem or at least one knee replacement.  Aerial Skiing, on the other hand, brings me back to the days when I used to play the Winter Olympics video game on my Commodore 64.  I can't remember the name for the life of me, but I remember holding the record for best aerial ski score.  Good stuff.  Another possibility for the Americans to get some more medals. (Tediless)

6.  SHORT TRACK SPEED SKATING.  Two things of note - Apolo Anton Ohno and spills, lots of them.  500m, 1000m and 1500m sprints on a small oval means fast times and bodies flying across the ice.  Strangely, this sport has been dominated by the South Koreans.  Except for the inevitable newspaper headlines using wordplay on Ohno's name, there is no downside to this quirky sport.  (Senseless)

5.  ICE HOCKEY.  Do you believe in Miracles? Yes!!

 
4.  BOBSLED.  Let them play.  Let them play.  Let them PLAY.  This will be a movie 4 years from now - "Kangaroo Runnings?" (Senseless)

3.  SKELETON.  The second sport on this list to be held at the Whistler Sliding Center.  I like the name of that venue.  This competition is virtually the same as the Luge, but athletes slide down the hill face down.  The sport got its name because the original pioneers of the spot used to slide down the ice in metal sleds that looked like skeletons.  I would not have guessed that as the origin of the name. The Canadians dominated in 2006 and expect to do as well this year on their home turf. (Senseless)

2.  LUGE.  This gets the nod over the other childhood sledding pasttime at #3 for one reason:  the odd two man luge race.  That just engenders some strange images. (Senseless)

1.  SKI JUMPING.  It is the sport with one of the most iconic videos ever made of the Agony of Defeat.  Jm McKay is somewhere smiling about this interview and the line "He thinks about that jump as many times as we've shown it on Wide World of Sports."  The words of course echo in every kids' head who grew up in the 1970's "The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat...Look out!  Look at him go!!  Oh Baby, What a terrible Fall! Dah, Dun, Dun, Dunnnn!  Combine the sheer thrill of flying through the air for more than 400 feet with the sheer fear of flying through the air for over 400 feet, and this is one incredibly crazy sport.  They will jumping off a short hill (90 meters) and a long hill (120 meters), along with a team competition.  Sadly they don't all jump together as a team.  Don't hold your breath waiting for an American medal, either.  The Americans are not really good in this sport.  Incidentally, after showing him a couple of the crashes, my 5 year old's favorite Winter Olympic Sport immediately became Ski Jumping. (Senseless)

I have now given you the perfect primer on the Winter Games.  See you this weekend.

Kicking and Screaming - The Culture Experiment, Part 2

The weekend between the AFC and NFC Championship Games and the Super Bowl creates a sports wasteland for me.  Still not ready to settle for some uninspired NBA and NHL games and six weeks before March Madness, this particular weekend fills my soul with an unimaginable void.  All right, it's not that bad, but my Sunday afternoon had to be filled with something, anything to get over the loneliness.  My thought was to treat this weekend as an anti-sports weekend, Sunday included.  Boston has a vibrant arts scene; we used to partake in all of activities years ago when we lived in Town.  A little bit of culture wouldn't hurt the kids...probably.

It didn't start out as I had planned.  Saturday afternoon consisted of watching Dangerous Dan and Oh Cosmo lead the Boston Blazers in Major League Indoor Lacrosse.  Originally, I was thinking about taking my seven year old to the ICA in South Boston, but when he asked me if we were going into Town to see the Celtics or the Bruins, I decided on the fly that we had to see sports, not modern art.  I couldn't bring a disappointed child to see Modern Art, that could lead to catastrophe.  I guess the full weekend of the Culture Experiment would have to wait until the beginning of August, when the next sports wasteland emerges.  But Sunday was a different day.  After carefully considering our options, we decided to drag, er voluntarily escort, the children to the Museum of Fine Art. Would we take a wrong turn or two? (Yes.)  Would it take 20 minutes of driving around the Fenway to find parking? (Yes.)  Would there be screaming, crying and general crankiness from the long night the night before? (Yes.)

12pm.  Boston, MA.  After pissing off the valet attendant by driving up the valet parking lot not once or twice, but three times, we hopped out of the car to make our way inside.  I have to admit, the giant creepy baby heads adorning the back entrance of the MFA scares children and adults alike.  What the hell is going on here? 

A couple of jokes later, all 5 of head finally inside.  Wait, it costs $20 bucks to get inside?  I remember when it used to be free admission with a (not-so-subtle) request to make a donation - similar to the request for a donation I receved when we moved into our North End apartment 15 years earlier.  We look at each other and telepathically decide that the children will enjoy themselves for at least two hours - whether they like it or not.

The MFA is currently undergoing renovations, so the back entrance was a makeshift labyrinth of white walls and hopeful photographs of what the MFA will look like when the renovations are complete.  Just like law school, my money is going to the enjoyment of others in a new building.  That's okay though because the children immediately go nuts when they are told of the game where they look for and match up the ancient Greek coins from the fake plastic coins they are given.

"Can we keep the coins when we find them?" my 5 year old asks me as he examines the fake plastic replicas.  How charming that he knows the value of money at such a young age - perhaps I should alert his grandparents.  Well at least that permits us to go to the ancient world exhibits, which includes a room with Egyptian artifacts.  Perhaps I will gain some insight into the Lost mythology if I can spend some time studying the mummies, hieroglyphics and ankhs.

Well that ended up taking all of 5 minutes.  The coins were all in the same display case before we even walked into the ancient Greek art exhibit.  We looked at the coins, answered a few questions and moved on to the Early American Period. 

Noting that we had three young children accompanying us, guess where we spent the most time in this Exhibit?  Right - at the painting illustrating a naked man getting eaten by a shark.  After answering a multitude of questions - "Where is that guy's clothes?  Why aren't they pulling him out of the water?  Will sharks eat us when we go the beach?  I ask why none of the boats in the immediate background of this painting are lending any assistance.  "If they are so smart, let those stupid Yankees figure this out for themselves." I decide the men in these other boats are thinking.

A little bit more walking around after the American Exhibit and here we are to the highlight of the trip.  The escalator ride up to the second floor!  The kids start running and screaming.  The children are delighted (I would be more descriptive, but we ARE in a museum).  As we walk down the Second Floor corridor, we stop to watch an ingenius exhibit - 50 TV screens stacked in an array with different people all singing the same Madonna songs.  We hear Borderline, Lucky Star and Crazy For You.  The adults were thoroughly entertained, that's for sure.  In fact, I would have stayed until they sang "Into the Groove," but with kids growing up to Beyonce and Black Eyed Peas, this is absolutely trite.  We had to move on to the last exhibits.

Impressionism really isn't my thing, but that's where we can find Monet, Cassatt and the other famous European artists.  The MFA has an impressive collection.  The kids are interested as well, they have to learn about Van Gogh and Cassatt in school, and it reinforces their learning if they actually see some of the works that they are studying; at least that is what I think. 

After 20 minutes in there, we finally have to leave for the obligatory meal.  And we only had to be spoken to once by a security guard?  Fantastic!

In the car on the way out, we ask what their favorite parts were.  We hear the search for the coins, Madonna and of course the naked man getting eaten by the shark.  We still talk about the ginat baby heads.  The Culture Experiment, while cut in half, was a success.  Pass me a beer. 

The Story of Dangerous Dan Dawson and Oh! Cosmo!

Saturday afternoons fill me with angst.  I'm tired from a long week of work and some sort of early morning game or practice.  The wife is readying for her night of listening to (and spinning her own) stories.  What can we do when the weather is cold and uninviting?  I want to break the kids out of their video game and TV habit (that's for later in the night).  I always think of the playground, to play basketball and watch the kids climb on the jungle gym.  Not when the thermometer reads 20 degrees though.  No way.

I'm not sure what led me to check on the Internet for professional lacrosse.  I can't remember ever playing the game.  I wouldn't know the MVP of any professional league if he hit me in the face with his stick (I would just think he's a client).  I vaguely remember being interested in watching the NCAA Lacrosse championships at Foxboro last year, but that was it.  Despite having only a rudimentary understanding of the nuances of the game, we headed into Boston to check an early afternoon game out.   Maybe my seven year old will take a liking to this game and play it himself.

1pm.  Boston, MA.  Trying to talk up the game to my seven year old, I focus on the hitting and the fights we might see.

"You mean they try to hurt each other with their sticks?" my sons asks expectantly. 

Fast forwarding to later tonight with his 5 year old brother: "Yes, but they get into a lot of trouble; they get sent to a small box to sit while everyone else plays."

"It's called the penalty box, Dad."  He answers.  I just don't give the kid enough credit sometimes.

* * * * *

   

Getting club seats at the Garden for $20?  Sweet.  But alas, my excitement is toned down when I'm told that I have to get my own beer and popcorn because they don't have people serving you in the club seats at these games.  I also forgot that there are no bathrooms up here.  Damn you Vitamin Water.  The Club Seats are actually the worse seats in the house at Blazers' games, it turns out. 

After waiting in line for drinks and the bathroom, we sit down just as the teams are introduced - the Boston Blazers vs. the Philadephia Wings.  The Blazers come out of tunnel while cheerleaders called the "Sparks" cheer them on.  (I now know where you go if you aren't a Patriots or Celtic cheerleader, but you have too much pride to become a Hooters girl or a stripper.  Welcome to the Sparks!)  The Blazers have only won one game this year but they look confident today. The good guys are led by the four time all star (Dangerous) Dan Dawson and the 2 time all star Goalie Anthony (Oh!) Cosmo.  Enough of the introductions, let's get it started!

First Half.  The game is actually broken into quarters, but never mind, I don't remember if some of these things happened in the First Quarter or the Second Quarter, so First Half it is.  The Blazers look ready this afternoon, as they jump out to a quick 2-0 lead, including a goal scored by Dan Dawson (when he scores a goal the P.A. Announcer says in his deepest Barry White voice, "That's dannnngerrrrous."  No, that's disturrrrbinnng.) and a goal against the Philadelphia Wings goalie that got lost in his uniform and dribbled into the goal as he was frantically hopping around looking for the ball.  "That was awesome, Dad!"

After the second goal, the Wings come down on an odd man rush (Is that the proper term?)  A behind the back pass to one of the forwards produces a bullet shot at the goalie.   What a diving stop by Boston's goalie, Anthony Cosmo!  We're then treated to the other arena gimmick.  All the lights turn red, the scoreboard goes haywire and the P.A Announcer exclaims "Great save by Oh! Cosmo!"  Even the crowd gets into it. Considering the Blazers record, he must have a lot of shots against him.  

As play continues, Dan Dawson nets a couple of more goals (That's Dannnngerrrrrousssss!) for the Blazers while we're waiting in line for popcorn.  Just as we sit down, we're entertained by a Philadelphia goal with one second left in the half.  Not playing defense is dannnngerrrroussss.

Halftime.  More Sparks.  T-Shirts and Qdoba burritos are hurled at us.  And of course, the mascot tug of war.  Need I say more?

Second Half.  The Third quarter is one of the most entertaining quarters I've seen in any sport.  These teams really don't like each other, as both teams pile up the roughing penalties, culminating in a scrum in front of Oh! Cosmo! that causes the mild mannered goalie to lose his cool.  He starts pummeling the offending forward as the pile on top of the two of them grows.  We are all going crazy.  I think I even heard the words "kill him" come out of my mouth, but I'm not sure, it was kind of loud.  Goals were coming fast and furious.  Although some were negated by in the Crease infractions. 

Back and forth the game went as the Blazers struggled to stay on top.  I notice that Indoor Lacrosse combines a lot of recognizable elements - 2 minute penalties, a shot clock, instant replay, cheesy promotions and of course, the scoreboard dance cam.  Speaking of the dance cam, if you want to be seen on the scoreboard, wear a Spiderman mask and dance like your head is on fire.  I guarantee you will be on the scoreboard. 

Before we knew it, we had to leave.  A long delay caused by a shoving match and an instant replay on a Wings' goal meant that we had to leave with 10 minutes left in the game.  We had to be home in time for the other half to get to work.  Blazers were winning though, 9-8.  They ended up taking this match 11-9 to improve their record to 2-3.  Meanwhile, Philadelphia fell to 1-4.  We ended the day the same way we started it.  Freezing cold.  But we have a new lacrosse fan too.  Maybe this will stop him from wanting to play Pop Warner football next year.  Probably not. 

Let the Paranoia and Plot Twists Begin - 24 Review

I'm starting to get paranoid - really paranoid.  Will it be the Russian mobsters?  Or the Islamic jihadists?  Perhaps the Chinese?  An insider in the White House maybe?  Tell the truth, Jack.  24 is back.  Your favorite CTU bad boy returns for another season. So what if he's 50 years old and on his death bed as a result of exposure to biological weapons in last season's bloodbath?  Keifer Sutherland puts down the commercial voiceovers and the Jack Daniels long enough to again lead the clueless President (Cherry Jones) and the off-her-rocker FBI Agent Renee (Annie Wersching) past the bad guys.  We have been promised a more human Jack Bauer.  I don't want to believe it, but I can understand that its getting tougher every year to pretend that Jack can actually kick anyone's ass at this point.  But really who cares - 4 hours of jam packed action is starting now.

The following takes place between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.  Events occur in real time.

In the office pool, I've taken Episode 8 as the episode when we discover who the real bad guy(s) are.  I may have gone a little early here. 

After a couple of guys are found dead and a shootout occurs, we cut to Jack lying the couch with his granddaughter asking him to put on a show (that's a familiar refrain).  I can't help to ask the question - Jack was about to die at the end of last year.  He even had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with the Muslim cleric.  Now he's perfectly fine with a passing mention of his "treatment?"  Aren't biological weapons supposed to be pretty bad?  Lethal even?

The scene then shifts to President Omar Hassan from an unnamed Arab country readying an historic Middle East peace accord.  I suspect that an Arab splinter group is behind the trouble this year.  I do see that Hassan only lasts for 16 episodes, so this dude obviously dies.  (N.B. If a little IMDB research provides information from which one can deduce other information, I don't consider it a spoiler).  Now its time for my favorite Gatorade Commercial "I can float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee!"

We're back.  "Omar, people are starting to believe that you've been corrupted by the West."  Yes.  Us Westerners are bad, bad people with our indoor plumbing, good oral hygiene and big American TVs.  But maybe its true, since at the precise same time, an informant from some previous year starts telling Jack about a plot to assassinate President Hassan.

Trying to get all of the plotting devices in during Episode One, the camera then cuts to the newly revamped CTU.  Instead of calling the police, Jack calls CTU about the impending threat to President Hassan.  Chloe and her sad sack scowl is back trying to make some money since her wussy Scottish husband Morris doesn't want to step up to the plate.  She wrestles with the woman from Battlestar Gallactica for control of CTU's computer analysis center.  Figuratively.  When this information reaches President Taylor, she wants to take some time about whether to tell someone that he is about to be killed.  She sends her daughter off to prison for killing Jon Voight and ten she keeps silent on this kind of information.  Tough love this woman has.

Shoot.  I'm already wrong.  Some Russian guy just took out a CTU helicopter as Jack tries to get his informant to the authorities.  I guess the shooter is Russian, the accent was pretty choppy.  Kind of like actors taking cracks at the Massachusetts accent when they play one of the Kennedys.  Also, the blond reporter that is having a tryst with President Hassan just got off the phone with a menacing look on her face exclaiming "I know I'm behind schedule, but I'll get it done."  I am already confused, and that is a good thing.

I have to admit that I watched all four hours.  While this review is only for the first hour, I will make a couple of observations overall.  It appears that the unbelievable plot twists remain.  Freddie Prinze, Jr.?  Agent Renee Walker is going to be terrific this year, she appears to be absolutely crazy.  Plot line with the crazy red neck ex-boyfriend?  Just kick his ass Starbuck!

88 out of 100.  So far so good.