Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Nathan's Hot Dogs on Surf and Stillwell

Was it already a year ago when we watched the Mt Sinai of Mastication?  It was in front of our TVs of course, but the kids and I were still thoroughly disgusted by the sopping wet buns and the half eaten hot dogs.  They were all in again for the 2012 version.

As we tune in, we are first greeted by Renee Herlocker discussing the history of the Women's tourney.  No seriously.  The last time I saw Herlocker was this time last year so she must not be taking over for Erin Andrews at ESPN.  The women's tourney ends with Sonya Thomas breaking the record with 45 hot dogs to win the contest.   Juliet Lee comes in second with an so-so 40 hot dogs eaten.  I'm gaining weight just thinking about it.

But we came for Joey Chestnut and his bid to win his 6th win in a row.

My sentiments exactly, Joey
Official weigh in.  For god's sake why are they doing a weigh in?  Badlands Booker is 360 pounds for Christ's sake!  Then they show Thomas and Chestnut with hot dogs in their hands and they couldn't look more disgusted.  They looked like they did not want to see any more hot dogs.

Undaunted, and with chants of "USA, USA" in the air, competitive eating has reached its apex with the Hot Dog eating contest.  Are you ready to ride the tornado and make love to the dragon?

Pete "Pretty Boy" Davekos is back from our jaunt in Foxboro last year.  Same with Tim "Eater X" Janus, Eric "Badlands" Booker and "Crazy Legs" Conti.  But we are watching to see if Joey Chestnut can break his record of 68 hot dogs eaten, set back in 2009.  We also want to watch to see if Takeru Kobayashi makes a surprise appearance, just to later get arrested.

The boys and I are getting pumped as Joey Chestnut comes out to Baba O'Reilly.  The boys are practically dancing around waiting for the contest to start.  Well either that or they really want to go play video games somewhere.

Let's get a refresher on the Hot Dog Eating Contest rules:

1.  Competitors must eat the hot dog and the bun.
2.  10 minute time limit
3.  Dunking must not exceed 5 seconds
4.  Automatic DQ for "reversal of fortune"

And they start!  Stonie the Megatoad and Eater X came out fast, but Chestnut easily takes the lead at hot dog number 8.  The boys and MM all throw up in their throat looking at the dunking of the bread.  By the way, Bertoletti is freaking disgusting with his red hands.  It looks like he is killing the cows (and pigs and horse) himself instead of eating hot dogs.

"Come on Chestnut, don't cry"  The boys both start to say.  They are riding the favorite, just like their Dad. And at the 5 minute mark Chestnut has a 5 hot dog lead over Eater X.

As the contest comes to a close, Chestnut easily beats Eater X and Bertoletti.  He only ties his record of 68 and expresses disappointment that he couldn't give his fans a world record (Note to Joey, we don't really care that much).  It wasn't a contest as it turns out.  At least the kids stayed through the entire contest.  Now that's the real contest.

photo courtesy of

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