Friday, November 12, 2010

I Guess We Have to Like Liverpool FC Now

Last month, I think we were all a little surprised to hear that Red Sox owners John Henry and Tom Werner were attempting to purchase the Liverpool Football Club from the nearly bankrupt Tom Hicks.  One of the most venerable football clubs in the English Premier League had recently fallen on hard times as the Texas businessman did to English Football in Liverpool what he did to the Texas Rangers and Dallas Stars - overspend and undermanage.  Now the Fenway Group's high powered machine was taking over.  Besides not having enough money to sign any free agents for 2011 and 2012, I suppose this is my reward for enduring the bridge years with the Red Sox.  It's also my opportunity to reintroduce Soccer to the boys since they haven't played soccer in months (at least the kind that didn't start with holding a Wii remote.)

8pm. TV.  We were lucky enough to catch Liverpool play the English Premier League's first place team the Chelsea Football Club in Liverpool this past weekend.  Lets go to the action.

"Hey C - look Liverpool is on TV.  Did you know that the Red Sox bought these guys?"

As he studies the screen, trying to decipher what I was talking about, he remarks "Dad, what are you talking about?  Where are the Red Sox players?  Why aren't they playing baseball?"  I guess I shorthanded my remark a little too much although admittedly, I still wasn't sure if Liverpool was in Blue or in Red.
As I'm explaining that the Red Sox OWNERs bought Liverpool and the Red Sox aren't actually playing the game, C and G both ask why the players are standing next to each other holding their hands over their private parts.  My 8 year old having grown accustomed to wearing a cup for football asked why the players didn't wear cups.  The conversation then took a turn toward why soccer players didn't wear cups because they run too much.  "But we run a lot in football too!" 

Before we started debating this strange topic, Fernando Torres scored Liverpools first goal.  It isn't lost on us that Torres is a leader on the Spanish National Team and a favorite of our on FIFA World Cup on the Wii.  "Hey Dad!" My six year chimes in, "that's the guy who kept scoring goals against you when C and you were playing against each other."  Thanks.

"Ole, ole ole ole" starts from the stands.  Needless to say noone in the JMR household is excited to hear all of the singing "Why don't they stop singing?"  Not being able to come up with a good answer, I return to my pat answer for questions.  It's because they're British.  Without singing, they'd be so unhappy.

MM, looking up from her phone at my xenophobic comment then talks about how she played goalie when she played.  "I thought you played Volleyball in High School?" I questioned.

"Oh maybe it was Junior High School, I hated it so much that I've blocked it out of my memory."  She confesses.

"You didn't really play soccer, did you?" I finally accuse.
While agreeing with me, she then goes on "It's funny that I don't like soccer because the boys are so cute.  They're so athletic. Not like the lazy pitcher who play baseball or the "Refrigerator" player in football.  Ooh, even the referees are cute.  Not like football, that's for sure."  Jesus.

I was concerned that the impressionable boys would hear us, but I don't think anyone was listening to our conversation though, as the boys had since retired to the nerf basketball hoop on the other side of the room.  They don't even see that they're superhero Fernando Torres scored another goal in the 44th Minute to give Liverpool a 2-0 lead.  It's probably time to put them to bed at this point.

I think it will be tough to get the boys excited about football in Liverpool, but if I can't watch Carl Crawford, Jayson Werth, Victor Martinez and Adrian Beltre because John Henry doesn't have any money, at least I can watch the EPL on Fox Soccer Network.  Go Reds.

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