Chuck E. Cheese for Adults? Dave & Buster's Review

A 7 year old's nirvana?  5 year old's utopia?  3 year old's paradise?  A parent's worst nightmare?  Opinions, of course, run the gamut when Dave & Buster's is the topic.  Growing up, Chuck E. Cheese was the "go to" kids restaurant; what with its skee ball and rudimentary video games like Pacman and Galaga.  But today's kids are a little jaded.  They obtain their Nintendo DSs, Wiis and IPods at an absurdly young age now, just so they don't fall behind their friends.  Chuck E. Cheese is still fun, but the kids are looking for something more exciting, and frankly the food at Chuck E. Cheese is disgusting.  Dave & Buster's promises something a little more.  The place is larger, the games are louder and the food is edible.  Maybe even the parents can enjoy themselves here too.

12pm.  Providence, RI.  Driving an hour out of the way to go to a restaurant seems a little absurd to me.  But everyone is excited and that's the point after all.  We park our car and make our slow trek up the escalators (remember, kids can be entertained for hours on escalators, especially if they go both up AND down).  Surprisingly, I can't hear the restaurant from 500 feet away like I thought I would.  Then we walk inside.  Oh the games are in the back.  All of the adults are in the front of the restaurnat watching the games at the bar.

GROG.  A lot of choices for beer.  Guinness, Stella and Bass are mixed in with the typical domestic light beers.  Numerous fancy drinks ar on the menu too.  The place gets points simply for having Grog in the first place, like they knew that parents would need to have a drink to survive the Ticket Redemption Room at the end.  8.0 Happies out of 10.0.

KIDS CRAYONS AND OTHER ENTERTAINMENT.  A perfect score!  You have pool, basketball hoops, Rock Band, Dance Dance Revolution, Skeeball and other games of chance all in one place - next to our table.  The first time the helicopter game next to us went off, it literally shook the ground to the point where my daughter grabbed the table and asked "What the?"  The real treat, though (for the kids, not really for the parents) is the ticket redemption room where you can redeem your 400,000 tickets for prizes.  Kids go crazy for this room at any amusement park, but this one seems different.  Numerous video games for the Wii, Play Station and the XBox adorn the walls.  My kids end up getting Pokemon cards and 10 bouncy D&B basketballs.  That's alright, this stuff will all end up in the trash a couple of weeks from now. 

Really, can a place ge more entertaining than this?  I think I even played a couple of games myself sneaking them in while pretending to go to the bathroom.  I know my wife was playing some games too, even hough she would never admit it.  11.0 Happies out of 10.0.  Yes, 11.0.

SPEED.  One of the wheels just fell off.  We sat near the bar in the game room.  Numerous waitstaff walked by us, admittedly with those "Better you than me" looks as I'm wrestling the jacket off my 3 year old daughter who's running toward one of the bouncy balls that she won on the way in from the claw game.  It took 20 minutes to flag someone down to take our drink order; that is just not right.  We just want a couple of beers, 3 Grilled Cheeses and some Edamame. I'll even pay you extra if you don't forget about us again.  One of the good things about the lack of attention is that we didn't feel rushed to leave our table, which was a good thing since my daughter fell asleep on the heap of jackets under our table.  4.5 Happies out of 10.0.

DESSERT.  Who cares?  The kids are all in the Ticket Redemption Room at this point anyway.  I think there was some ice cream or brownies or something.  7.0 Happies out of 10.0.

WHO'S PAYING.  Over a hundred dollars getting 3 power cards.  (Did you know that they make you pay $3 to obtain a power card?  Keep them if you go more than once.)  Over a hundred dollars on food and drinks.  Holy crap!  And all we come back with are 4 stuffed animals, 5 bouncy balls and tired kids?  I'll take it!  But that is a lot of money.  Add in the fact that Providence is an hour away and this is a once a year journey. 5.0 Happies out of 10.0 Happies.

Overall, this is more of a kids' paradise than a parent's worst nightmare.  Kids are growing up fast these days and to be able to make them smile and getting them excited about anything is a big deal, and I think this experience is worth it.  I wish the rating was higher because we all ended up having a good time, but in the end, 35.5 Happies out of 50.0 Happies.  Not perfect but better than bad.

Can the Five of Us Enjoy the Third Fours?

I've spent numerous nights at the Fours in Boston before Celtics games, always leaving happier than when I came in.  I consider the Fours in Quincy to be a pretty good duplicate, despite its strange location in the back of a municipal parking lot.  As a result, high expectations abounded for the newest location in Norwell, Massachusetts.  The Fours in Norwell opened up a couple of months ago in an even stranger location - the former home of a failed TGIFs on a main street dominated by nursing homes, professional offices and eclectic small shops.  Desperate for new places to take the kids on Saturday afternoons, though, we've been to this rendition numerous times.  Luckily for these guys, I don't care about the food (or price, ultimately) that much.

Norwell, MA.  2pm.  On a rainy Saturday afternoon, we took the kids for their usual grilled cheeses, french fries and ketchups.  After a particularly harrowing experience with a boating Santa and a cranky lawnmower, we were looking forward to a little relaxation, where the din of a busy restaurant drowns out the kids' screaming.

GROG.  I can only describe The Fours as an Americanized version of an Irish Pub mixed with strange sports memorabilia, so the beer selection had to be good.  With Guinness, Smithwick's (I think...no I'm just assuming), Sam Adams Brick Red, Harpoon, blue Moon and all the light beers you can think of on draught, the Fours delivers here.  Oh yeah they also have wine and spirits.  Yawn.  I can't give them 10 Happies though unless they have Murphys or they are a microbrewery, but they get the best score without serving those.  9.0 Happies out of 10.0 Happies.

KIDS CRAYONS AND OTHER ENTERTAINMENT.  The kids got the usual assortment of crayons and paper, but the boys and I were instead transfixed by the college football games on TV - oh fine, it was just me transfixed leaving Mom to fend for herself.  There had to be at least six TVs in our vicinity, and we were in the dining room.  I don't think that my daughter had anything to watch though, since Barbie and Wow Wow Wubbzy does not go with the aforementioned sports decor.  We were also entertained by one of the busboys trying to scrape off some foreign substance off of the table next to us.  The grossed out "ewwwws" from seven year old were progressively getting louder as the busboy was chipping away at the glob of gunk, which made us all chuckle - except for the unfortunately busboy. 7.5 Happies out of 10.0 Happies.

SPEED.  Being an old pro of all of the locations, I knew that our food would be hot and served in about 2 minutes and 30 seconds.  I ordered my second beer when I got my first beer thinking that would be the case.  Doesn't make sense though does it?  Just work with me here.  As expected, the food came in lightning quick speed.  No time for restlessness.  9.0 Happies out of 10.0 Happies.

DESSERT TIME.  Hoodsies with whipped cream, hot fudge and cherry on top.  My seven year old wanted to get another lunch so he could eat the second dessert.  When I told him that I could easily make that at home, he wasn't impressed.  "You say that now Dad, but you won't make it when we get home."  He's right.  A couple of games of Sorry and then straight to bed!  7.0 Happies out of 10.0 Happies.

WHO'S PAYING?  Uh oh.  This is where the trouble began.  A grilled cheese with potato chips was 7 bucks?!?  That was ridiculous, especially since I was still wiping off the burnt grilled cheese bread crumbs off the coat that my five year old had thought made a darned good recepticle.  But not nearly as bad as the $6.50 beers.  I didn't send them back, but $13 for a couple of pints is a little steep, unless I was paying for beer that was charged in Pounds or Euros.  The appetizers and sandwiches for the adults were moderately priced, however, which moderated the score a bit.  3.5 Happies out of 10.0 Happies.

The Fours is obviously meant to be a sports bar/Irish Pub and not a place to entertain children.  That being said, we enjoyed ourselves despite having a much lighter wallet at the end of the day.  36 Happies out of 50.0 Happies.  Not perfect, but better than bad.

The Son Needs A Lot of Tinkering

One thing that we're trying to accomplish with this blog is to educate parents about which restaurants are actualy worth taking their children to.  Can the kids be entertained and the parents get a decent pint of beer? Can this all happen without the parents searching for credit cards with a high enough limits to pay the tab?  It's as simple as that.

When we first moved down here, one of the places that our friends told us to check out was Mount Blue, literally walkingistance from our new home.  It was restaurant and bar that occasionally had some good live music playing.  At that time, about ten years ago, it was owned by a couple of Aerosmith guys, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry.  Except for being forced to buy Joe Perry's crappy hot sauce and a strange siting of Steven Tyler cleaning the windshield of his red Mercedes in the parking lot, I didn't have many memories of the place.  A couple of owners later, Mount Blue was recast as The Tinker's Son.  An Irish Tavern with authentic music and furniture (including authentic imported church pews where the live music would be playing), run by an authentic Irish restauranteur.  Together with the promise of my favorite beer on tap, we decided to go the weekend that it officially opened for business.

Norwell, MA.  After a grueling 3 hour soccer marathon, the five of us hopped in the car and drove to the "the Son."  It was quiet, and we were informed that they were still serving brunch.  My seven year old immediately decides that he wants waffles at 2pm.  How did he know what the meaning of brunch was anyway?

GROG.  The best beer I've ever had was a pint of Murphy's Stout in a Kinsale pub back in 2007.  The chocolate and caramel flavors followed by a smooth finish puts the Guinness commercialization machine to shame.  Frankly, I'm not even sure what my wife had, or what other beers, wines or specialty drinks the place had.  Probably Guinness, Smithwicks and Harp, I imagine.  Two pints of Murphys were all I needed, though.  10.00 Happies out of 10.00.

KIDS CRAYONS AND OTHER ENTERTAINMENT.  Things quickly fell apart from there, however.  First, no crayons, no paper to write on, no games to play.  Then the only things on TV were horse racing and college football and they had to "specially make" chocolate milk for the kids in giant red soda cups.  I think they went across the street to get a couple of bottles of Nestle myself.  That would explain why it took our waiter 15 minutes to serve our drinks even though we were sitting about 10 feet from the bar.  It was either that or the pot the guy was smoking made him forget that we were there in the first place.  Jesus.  On top of all that, they didn't have a band playing at Saturday brunch, just a jukebox left over from the previous regime. 

At the end of the meal, the three kids ended up climbing all over the authentic church pews, despite our protests.  Oh well, now the pews are authentic American, too.  2.00 Happies out of 10.00.

SPEED.  Don't even get me started on this one.  There is one thing I can't stand about restaurants.  Waiting.  I don't like to wait to be seated, wait to be served or wait for the check.  Come on.  In a business like this, I expect and down right appreciate being herded in like cattle, thrown some food and herded right back out.  I don't mind subpar food, surly service or expensive meals, so long as I don't have to wait for it.  Well, our guy was just getting used to balancing work and smoke breaks, because we found ourselves waiting an eternity through every stage of our meal.  Even the other waitress on the floor was helping us, sympathizing for our plight. This is not going well.  2.00 Happies out of 10.00.

DESSERTS.  Not a good sign when I have to promise to take the kids to ANOTHER restaurant for dessert.  Even my dessert of another Murphy's wasn't enough to drag this score past 1.00 Happies out of 10.00.

WHO'S PAYING?  The prices were reasonable.  It was Saturday brunch so grilled cheeses and waffles were fairly inexpensive.  But it felt like we were paying for everything, like the extra ketchup we had to get and the cup of water we had to order.  5.50 Happies out of 10.00.

20.50 Happies out of 50.00.  Yikes, was it really that bad?  No, but remember, I'm rating a place based on whether parents can bring their children.  Despite satisfactory food,  Tinker's Son got hurt for beng child unfriendly.  I'm not a restauranteur, but in the suburbs, places should either cater to families or be too fancy to bring children, period.  Norwell isn't Boston, and here there is no in-between.  I suppose I understand the attempt at authenticity as a selling point that might dissuade children, and if the kind of clientele they want is the 50 year old twice-divorced bar flies, then they have made some shrewd decisions.  But I will tell you one thing, I will spend four times as much money bringing my family to a place they enjoy than I will spend on myself having a couple of beers with the "flies."  Steer Clear of This Place.   

CBS Scene Hopes Football Season Starts Soon

My curiosity is always piqued when I read the latest review of a new restaurant with a lot of positive buzz.  The exquisite food, the stiff drinks from the bar, the surly staff...everything that I love about big city dining, without fail, makes me say to my wife, "we should go there next time we have a babysitter."

The babysitter.  Now there's the rub.  95% of the time when we go out to a restaurant, three kids come along.  As much as I want to pay for that $30 customized pasta dish for my picky 7 year old ("Eww, what's that green stuff?" he asks.  "Parsley." I respond), usually the new restaurant has to wait, if it is visited at all.  By contrast, my reviews will include places that we take our kids, and my scores will focus on the important dining factors when bringing children.  I don't care as much about the quality of the service or food when I have the kids with me.  The atmosphere also takes on less importance when you're spending 20 minutes hunting for more ketchup.

Foxboro, MA.  CBS Scene opened up last year with the ballyhooed Patriot Place near Gillette Stadium, home of the New England Patriots.  The first and only of its kind, its hulking four story structure immediately scared my daughter.  "Are we visiting someone in jail, Daddy?" she looks up and asks.  "No, we're going to a dinner place."  I say on the outside.  On the inside, I wonder how she knows what jail is.   

Tips of the day.  The two times we went there, we parked down by the Patriots Pro Shop.  Even though the bottom floor door was open both times, we were told that we had to go to the front desk to check in, eight flights of stairs above us.  Don't park down there with small children unless you plan on carrying them on your back halfway up the stairs. Additionally, the place is enormous.  The first time we visited it was 90 degrees outside and they chose to forego $10,000 per day air conditioning that afternoon.  I would forego this place in the Summer.   

GROG:  Some fair choices on tap, including Sam Adams, Harpoon, Stella and Guinness.  I order a Guinness and am asked whether I want a 16 ounce or a 22 ounce beer.  Look at me.  We have three young kids with us.  Do you really need to ask that question?  "Well let me go upstairs and get that for you."  He grumbles. My wife notices some unique offerings as well, a Coffee Nudge martini made with Starbuck's Coffee Liqueur and a Viognier late harvest dessert wine.  "We should try these when we don't have the kids with us."  She tells me.  Sure.  7.0 Happies out of 10.

KIDS' CRAYONS AND OTHER ENTERTAINMENT:  I'm sure I don't have to explain myself here.  Many establishments believe that a sheet a paper, 4 crayons and a 13" TV can pass for entertainment.  On the other hand, CBS Scene barrages you with multiple TVs on multiple platforms in multiple rooms in addition to the paper and crayons.  My two boys are immediately mesmerized, and they don't even care when the hostess said that she has to walk all the way upstairs to get more crayons.  We proceed to walk down a couple flights of stairs ourselves to our booth, which is equipped with a personal TV.  This being CBS, the choices of stations are of course reduced.  I tried to talk them into college football, How I Met Your Mother (the jokes would go way over their heads) or 60 Minutes.  We settle on The Price is Right.  This is a highlight show, so literally everyone who plays wins a car.  My 5 year old asks me when he can go on that game show and win a car, too.  9.0 Happies out of 10

SPEED:  I'm skeptical when orders arrive too fast - are these meals just microwaved - but food also serves as an excellent diversion from yelling and screaming.  It took literally 5 minutes from our order being taken to our order arriving.  No walking up and down the stairs for our food, I assume. Overall, we were in and out in under an hour, and I was nursing my beer so the kids would forget about the promise I made to them in the next paragraph.  9.0 Happies out of 10.

DESSERT TIME:  Their choices were ice cream, pudding and jello for $3.  They came with whipped cream, so there's that, I suppose.  Seriously, desserts need to be included in a kids meal, guys.  I had to promise the kids a visit to the Patriots Pro Shop to talk them out of securing for themselves a sickly scoop of $3 ice cream.  Thanks, CBS.  3.0 Happies out of 10. 

WHO'S PAYING:  Not out of the ordinary for places like this.  $5 grilled cheeses, hamburgers and hot dogs are mostly the norm these days.  Similarly, adult meals were around $10 to $20.  The beers were higher than usual; it's not surprising though since this place caters to Patriots fans and Revolution fans (if there are any out there).  6.0 Happies out of 10.

Final Tally:

34.0 Happies out of 50.0.  Not perfect but better than bad.