Jabari Parker Thrills Them All!

Who knew?  I have grown accustomed to really disliking, if not despising, the Duke Blue Devils.  Ever since UConn lost to them more 20 years ago in the Elite 8 on a little runner, Duke has been on my bad list.  I have spent less time, though, on the hate ever since UConn took Duke Down in the Final Four on the way to the National Championship in 2011, but when I heard that the boys' favorite player in the NCAA was Jabari Parker, I was flabbergasted.  Did they know he played for the evil empire?  And when I obtained tickets for Duke's tilt against the Boston College Eagles, both boys went a little nuts.  Did they not know that Coach K is evil incarnate?

All this for Jabari Parker?  I doubt they had heard of him prior to November 2013.  But now all of Boston was looking to see this absolute beast from Duke.  It really had nothing to do with the two 1st round draft picks we have in the 2014 Amateur draft.

6pm.  Boston, MA.  We were lucky enough to be just feet away from Duke as they warmed up.  It was disconcerting to see that no one was sitting in the 3 rows ahead of us.  What was the problem?  But we still were excited to see Parker warm up before us, with only a couple of sad BC fans standing between us and the Blue Devils.

And when we got to these seats just a couple of rows up from where Duke was warming up, I had to admit that I didn't know who Jabari Parker was either.  But that didn't matter to the boys as they leaned over the railing to the visitor's tunnel, trying to get a high five from Parker and even the stiff dictator, Coach K himself.  They were so excited that the old, crotchety couple behind us told them to sit down, that those weren't our seats.  The game hadn't even started yet!  I guess it was a good thing that crotchety old folks were sitting in those three rows ahead of us either.  Jesus!

The game started quietly enough.  The Eagles and the Blue Devils traded punches as the lead flopped back and forth.  Parker was especially impressive as he would run some plays in the corner spotting up for a 3 pointer, but he looked most comfortable taking a pass down in the low post and taking it up strong against the weaker Eagles' defenders.  He was scoring baskets in transition to, running down the court ahead of everyone and throwing down thunderous dunks.  BC battled on though only trailing Duke by 4 after the first half, led by some dude named Olivier and another guy who looked like Kris Humphries.  Let's give BC 0% chance of winning this game.

The real highlight of the boys night, though, was at half time as they both were able to high five Parker as he walked into the tunnel.  Sweaty handshakes form complete strangers?  Count me in too.  Even LC tried to get some skin from Coach K who stiffened up as he came closer to the 40-ish fangirl.  (I would too.)

The Second Half was a different story.  Shortly after the half began, Duke went on an 18-0 run to start pulling away.  Duke was up by 20 for most of the second half cruising to an easy 21 point win.  Those kids in front of us left with 10 minutes left, figuring that parties in the middle of Winter in Boston had to be better than here.  Fly away, fly away.

But the boys were both ecstatic walking back to the car.  They both got to touch hands with Parker.  Maybe he'll end up with the Celtics and we'll see him a lot more 'round these parts.

How Squares Can Save a Poor Super Bowl

The Super Bowl is an intriguing spectacle.  It is the one American adventure that really has more to do with the journey than the destination.  Unless your favorite team is actually PLAYING in the big game, the vast, vast majority of spectators are either looking on to (i) party at some one's place or a bar, (ii) watch the half time show, (iii) watch the commercials or (iv) to gamble.  Hardly anyone is there to actually WATCH the game.

Ah, gambling.  One of the bastions of the JMR household, as we have taken the March Madness Pool and Fantasy Football to new gambling levels.  I'm teaching my children the right way.  The right way to run these pools themselves when they get older (I guess).  One of the many ways we could have gambled on the Super Bowl was the old mainstay - the Super Bowl Squares.  We felt like we had to make this game more interesting since the Patriots were knocked out int he AFC Championship.  You know how Super Bowl Squares works.  You pay short money to put your name in a grid of 100 boxes.  Some magical process happens and your square is matched to the last digit of the AFC Champion's score and the last digit of the NFC Champion's score.  We play it the standard way.  We keep our numbers through out the game and each quarter crowns a new winner.  People want 0, 1, 3, 4 and 7 as their numbers.  No one wants 2, 5 or 8.

Rudimentary grid

How to get the kids interested, though?  Promise them an iTunes gift card if they win.  Now mind you, this isn't gambling per se since all the kids can do is win something, but they still can live the excitement. 

The best thing about these squares was evident almost immediately in the recent match up between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos.  Even if one team is getting blown out, the Squares keep everyone interested.  The Squares do not care what the overall score is.  They only care about touchdowns, field goals and two point conversions.  Let the games begin!

First Quarter.  Oh man! A safety on one of the first plays of the game puts all of the crappy numbers into play.  All of a sudden, 2, 5 and 8 are looking like the real good numbers.  Seattle leads at the end of one quarter 8-0.  Cue the baseball score jokes!  More importantly, Dad wins the First Quarter.  No iTunes Gift card for you suckas!

Second Quarter.  Now the kids are getting excited.  They've seen how it works and Clash of Clans add ons are dancing around in their heads.  These gift cards must be theirs!  I'm bummed for all those sorry folks who thought Denver was going to wing the game.  Two more touchdowns for a 22-0 lead at half time.  C wins his first gift card.  Good luck collecting from me, son!

Third Quarter.  That Bruno Mars guy seems kind of over matched, am I right?  Never mind.  Denver get on the board with a touchdown and 2 point conversion.  Now 8 is on the board for the other side too!  But alas, Seattle scores two touchdowns itself to make the score 36-8.  Mom wins this quarter and all of a sudden the money outlay I'm going to have is quite small.

Fourth Quarter.  A lot of advertisers are bummed out that the game has gotten out of hand.  Including the big time spots that ran at the 2 minute warning.  Or maybe they thought to themselves that people are still interested in the garbage time when any score can change the winner.  Unfortunately for the kids, Dad wins the Fourth Quarter after Seattle gets the garbage time touch down.  Denver can't even match with a late game, meaningless touch down itself, so the game ends 43-8. 

In conclusion, Dad wins 2 quarters and Mom wins 1 quarter.  C does win one quarter and will eventually get his gift card.  Pity Denver.  And celebrate Seattle.  But more importantly celebrate that the 5 of us could actually watch a game together.

Sochi and Short Track Speed Skating

The Winter Olympics are known for featuring "weird sports" (as my 9 year old likes to call them).  Alongside staples such as Downhill Skiing, Hockey and Figure Skating, the Winter Olympics feature sports in which you ski off of a cliff (ski jump), a sport which allows you to shoot rifles at targets (biathalon) and ice fishing (just kidding on that one).    Sochi in 2014 is no different.

One of the sports that the boys got interested in though was an unusual one fraught with danger.  Short track speed skating.  We whetted our appetites with the longer short track races the night before and I was describing the shorter races that are just free-for-alls.  While this seems kind of strange - why not just go to a regular track if you are going 500 or 1500 meters - the strategy seems a little different in the 500 meter races.  These were just qualification races, but they started off slowly for the first couple of laps, gaining advantage and position and then off they go for the last couple of laps.  We were transfixed because the element of danger and possibility of sliding off the track were real.  Now we just had to watch the real short track the next day, where the wipeouts are frequent and Apollo Anton Ohno rules.

9am. Home. Oh no.  We go live to Salt Lake City for the US Olympic Trials and Ohno is an announcer.  What does that mean?  He's not skating anymore? I consider turning this off.  The boys start to look around for things to do.  This is troublesome for a series of races that last 90 minutes.

The women start first.  The names sound familiar from the 1500.  They just go a lot faster at 4.5 laps.

LC joins us and immediately asks the obvious question. "How do they do that without running into each other?"

The men start.  "Did you know Eddy Alvarez is Pedro Alvarez's brother?"  Good memory, G.  J.C. Celski is favored to win this race - the world record holder at this distance.  After a wipeout by Jordan Malone in the first men's final, C comes down to watch.

"Rewind the crash, Dad!"

"Why is she wearing sunglasses?"  C asks.  When I tell him to reduce glare, he then continues, "What glare?"  He does not appreciate my answer and continues on "No, what is glare?" Who cares?  Pedro Alvarez's brother just made the A Final...whatever that means.

The crashes are minimal, like they are afraid to try to win any of these races.  Where is the insanity?  Where is the intensity?  This is very frustrating since DLG loses interest and goes out and plays in the snow.  The boys pick up their electronics as they lose interest.  Come on!  Where is the excitement?

Emily Scott and Jessica Smith are going to Sochi!  Now the men go.  J.C. Celski and Eddy Alvarez make it for the men.  Hopefully the Olympics capture their imaginations more than these races.

A Most Interesting 2014 Hall of Fame Ballot

2014 is shaping up to be one of the most interesting Hall of Fame Elections in recent years.  In the post-steroids era (are we really past this yet), some very interesting first year candidates are joining the likes of Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa.  The questions this year are lingering like a bad cold.  2013's ballot saw no one inducted.  Obviously, that can't happen to often because interest in the ballot would start to diminish.  Players NEED to be inducted in 2014.  Let's investigate the possibilities and the questions.

Will Jack Morris finally make it on his last year on the ballot? (He only gets 15 years after all to make the Hall of Fame)?

Will second year stand outs Craig Biggio, Mike Piazza or Curt Schilling make the HOF in their second year trying?

Will any of the terrible steroid-era players, Roger Clemens, McGwire, Sosa, Bonds or Rafael Palmeiro actually get the call?  Will cheating still matter to these voters?

Who from the new class - Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, Frank Thomas or Mike Mussina, for instance - will get the call from the BBWAA?

To help me with my imaginary ballot, similar to Deadspin's purchase of a ballot from a terribly greedy sportswriter, I have asked G to tell me who he thinks will be elected to the Hall of Fame.

G's list...

Roger Clemens
Barry Bonds
Greg Maddux
Frank Thomas
Don Mattingly

I agree with G.  Maddux might be a 100% lock to make the Hall of Fame.  Even Ty Cobb, Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth could not secure 100% of the vote from the writers, but Maddux has a shot.  With the Internet, writers are under as much scrutiny as players and thus tend to follow the normal course of action a little bit more closely.  A pitcher who was so consistent that he never won more than 20 games (having won 20 games twice), yet put together 16 years of more than 15 wins?  This is amazing consistency for modern day pitchers and may earn him a unanimous vote.  These writers are dying to vote someone in after skipping the vote in 2013 and voting only Barry Larkin in in 2012.  They are desperate to vote.

Who did not make the cut according to G?  Mark McGwire.  When I asked him why, he responded "Well, because he took steroids."  Oh the irony of his picks.

Here are my picks:

Greg Maddux
Tom Glavine
Frank Thomas
Craig Biggio
Jack Morris

Curt Schilling, Tim Raines and Mike Piazza will just miss.  There's always next year, although the pitching prospects will get stronger as Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez joins the 2015 Hall of Fame Ballot.

Celtics' Reunion Week Doesn't Matter Anymore

Doc Rivers doesn't matter anymore.  He tries to make himself relevant by talking about himself in the days leading up to the game against the Celtics tonight.  He describes his acrimonious split with the Celtics as "his fault" that he walked out on them.  His regret is palpable.  But he knew the score.  In this year of Wiggins, Smart and Parker, it made more sense for mediocre teams to trade down in order to get a better lottery pick in the 2014 NBA Draft.  Rivers didn't want that anymore.  It's just that after all these years, he didn't have to be such a putz about it.

Now the Celtics are in full tank mode and the Clippers are 14-8.  Fast-forward to the question I posed to the boys earlier this morning when I began a recording of the Celtics-Clippers tilt.

"Guess who the Celtics are playing tonight?"

With less than full excitement, "Who, Dad?"

"The Clippers."  I answer.  When C asks me why that's important, I tell him about Chris Paul and Blake Griffin, but more importantly, Doc Rivers.

Doc River Doesn't Like You Either

"I hate Doc Rivers." C explains, without really knowing why.  Perhaps he saw one of his Instagram followers say that, now he echoes that same thought.

But in any event, in this lost season where the Celtics might tank all the way to the Third Seed in the Eastern Conference, this game has meaning.  First it was the woebegone Nets yesterday, now the Doc-led Clippers.  Can the Celtics embarrass themselves in front of all of the their 2012-13 players and coaches during "Reunion Week.  Too bad Lawrence Frank is still employed by the Nets.

7:30pm.  Tommy Heinsohn starts eulogizing Doc Rivers at the beginning of the broadcast.  Give me a break.  I'm more pissed that he didn't win 3 Championships.  That one Championship, while sweet, was disappointing in that it was the only one.  You can blame KG's injury in 2009 and Perkins' injury in 2010.  I blame the coaching.

Sullinger, G's favorite player starts out the scoring with a little runner for a 2-0 lead, then gets stuffed by DeAndre Jordan on his next shot.  Yup, this is going to be a long night, no matter how points Sullinger scores.  But wait.  Lob city arrives as Jordan Crawford alley oops to Avery Bradley for a 17-12 Celtics' lead.  The Celtics take a 23-20 lead after the First Quarter.  Maybe Rivers' tears are about more than Boston.  Like Tommy Heinsohn's osession with Chris Paul palming the ball.

During the Second Quarter, we were reminded about how much Rivers meant to the team.  Even he admitted that they were the best team int eh league in 2009 until KG went down.  The only thing of note was to see this interesting stat - DeAndre Jordan is first in the League in FG percentage but is last in the league in Free Throw percentage. Celtics lead at halftime 45-39.

Another Quarter and another free throw adventure for DeAndre Jordan.  He even air balled a free throw for crying out loud of his 5 misses.  And Doc Rivers is third all time in coaching wins for the Celtics?  That graphic is quite startling.  Clippers take a 66-64 lead after 3.

At this point, both boys tell me that they have to go to bed.  It being a school day and all.  I guess Doc Rivers has made a couple of other kids not care.  Clippers win 96-88.

Good riddance!