Life in the Celtics' Luxury Box

After a long day of football, I was looking forward to just sitting on the couch.  But I had forgotten that G was invited to a buddy's 9th birthday party after his football game.  Now it wasn't any old party at the place down the street, this party was going to be at a Celtic preseason game, and G was so pumped that he wouldn't stop talking about it all weekend.  I wasn't sure what to expect myself as one of the chaperones.  G was telling me we were going to get autographs at halftime.  He also told me we were going to go down on the floor after the game and shoot baskets.  Both time I just shrugged my shoulders.  OK, big man - whatever you say.

And G was convinced that we were going to do this.  He even started to look around for a "autograph" book; finally settling on a little notebook that LC used to write notes down during the day.  It was a rag tag, makeshift little notebook.  He was so determined though to find something to write autographs on, that I vowed, if were actually going to go somewhere at halftime, to buy him a basketball or program.

Boston, MA. 7pm.  As we drive into the players parking lot, past the huge SUVs and the security guards, I couldn't help but notice that the kids were a rag tag mix of green Celtics shirts, green beads, green face paint and green pom poms (really).  I wasn't sure if this was a basketball game or "Bring it On 3."  We walk in a secret passageway (OK, the side door) and go up the stairs.  I soon realize that we are heading up to the club seats level.  Maybe we're hitting a luxury box or maybe we're going to the club seats.  G looks around and starts to talk about how he recognizes where we are.  Despite the fact that I haven't been up here since I stopped working in Boston 10 years ago.  I'm not sure when G-Hollywood was here, but I play along.

"Dad, remember those seats from the last time we were here?" He tells me as we walk by some old seats presumably from the old Boston Garden.

"Yep."  (Nope)  "Pretty cool, G!"

Luxury Box it is.  We arrive - all 20 kids and a handful of parents.  The staff helping us looks a little worried.  And I frankly don't blame them.  We're a loud, intimidating bunch.  But the kids soon settle down as the food arrives.  And we actually start watching the game - the Patriots game as it has gone to Overtime against the Jets - so we are living large right now.

To the boys dismay, we find out that Lucky the Leprechaun was in China right now, but the Celtics Cheerleaders come to cheer us up.  They too look downright frightened as 20 8 and 9 year old boys start getting together to take a group picture with them.  Then the individual pictures ensue.  Everyone forgets that Lucky is in Asia.

Now we finally start watching the game.  It's the Celtics last preseason game against the 76ers.  I have to be honest, I'm not sure who some of these players are after the starters.  Jason Terry was out.  Courtney Lee, Fab Melo and Jared Sullinger I recognize.  Other than that, who the Hell are Kurz, Joseph and Downs?  Needless to say, the Celtics took most of the game off and ended up losing to the Sixers 88-79.  Thank goodness there are cupcakes to take the boys minds off of the loss.

But even the day after the game, G still talks about the awesome game with his buddies.  Not bad.  Now we actually do have that memory of the Luxury Box.  

The Essence of a Youth Football Tailgate

We are in full swing of football season.  When one has two boys (ages 10 and 8) that need to have their fall afternoons filled with some sort of activity, football is a natural reaction.  And a reaction (not a selection) it really is.  Football practice three days a week.  Two football games during the weekend.  And add the fact that I am coach of my 8 year old's team, it makes for a busy season.  We barely have time to breathe.

One of the few things that is football-related that does not require me to spend too much time in thought watching film, managing the team or working within a league system is the proverbial tail gate.  I want to have it be an annual tradition for my team.  We don't have to do it every game.  We simply pick a late afternoon game, and plan the day around it.  I let others take the lead and bring the food and drinks.  I am secretly hoping that someone will bring a bottle of beer that I can hide in my car for after the game.

Our Tailgate did NOT look like this!

Now our "tailgate" has a different connotation than it does at a place like Foxborough.  We aren't parked behind a liquor store playing corn hole in the mud, like we would be for a Patriots-Jets game.  We aren't dodging the drunk 55 year old guys who revolve their entire lives around the Sunday morning and afternoon tailgate and piling our cans of beer on the light stanchion right before you cross the underpass - like we would at Foxborough. Instead we drive up in our cars, put out tables and food and watch the kids play.  I wouldn't let them (the kids that is) eat too much food - I mean we have a big game this afternoon, against one of our hated rivals.  I don't want any kids puking on the practice field because of an array of cupcakes, pizza and Jolly Ranchers.

So we continue to watch the kids.  Perhaps the soda and candy has gotten them hyped up because not they are jumping up and down playing a unique form of leap frog.  I'm just happy that I can talk to people and not have to talk about football.  I love it, but I like to talk about other things too once in a while.

And this is actually my second tailgate of the day, tailgating after the morning game with the Junior Varsity team.  My stomach is full of bagels and Diet Coke.  I think my belly hurts more than any other.

But after a little while, I lead the kids up to the practice field behind the school so we can get our warm ups in.  We'll be ready for this game.  Jolly Ranchers, pizza and all.  We leave the tailgate to the field and I see the other parents and kids continue the revelry.  Mission accomplished (although no one brought me a bottle of beer for after the game).

This is a tailgate I would gladly bring my kids to.  More to come.

The Natural Doesn't Have Any Fans Here

I kept talking about how the Natural was the best baseball movie ever made.  It was about a player that time passed by who took one last stab at baseball stardom at the ripe old age of 35 (although Redford is about 55 in this movie) and became one of the most prolific hitters in fake baseball history.  It's a story of redemption, lost love and America's pastime.  How could the boys not love it?

"Is it even better than Major League, Dad?" C asked me in reference to the "edited for content" version of the Charlie Sheen barnburner that he considers his favorite movie.

"Yes, of course it is."  Major League was a good movie, but come on.

"Dad, I thought Field of Dreams was your favorite baseball movie."  I then explained to him that Field of Dreams was my favorite movie, not baseball movie - it's really not a movie about baseball.  Hey wait, why don't the two of you boys sit down and be quiet?

We arrive at the 30 minute mark of the move, just as Roy Hobbs (Redford) joins the New York Knights during a dreadful stretch in which Bump Bailey is throwing the games so that the nefarious owner can move the team after the season and freeze out the Manager who had to give up a portion of his ownership in the team.  I guess this movie is a lot like Major League.

• Nefarious Owner
• Player who is way too old to play baseball (Roy Hobbs and Eddie Harris)
• Bad Team that turns good after new player (Roy Hobbs and "Wild Thing" Rick Vaughn)
• Annoying Love Interest (Glenn Close and Rene Russo)
• Questionable Baseball execution (Tom Berenger's 500 Yard run to First Base and Knocking the cover off the ball)

But C immediately picks up on the baseball playing "That wasn't really a home run, Dad" "That wasn't pitched that fast"  I know, not everything can look like Major League.  Now be quiet and watch the movie.

And this is the slower part, after Roy Hobbs is shot, but before the epic playoff game against the Pirates, so I am trying to intrigue the boys.  Hobbs was shot!  Does Robert Duvall actually know Hobbs from somewhere?!!? That bat is made of wood struck by lightening!! Hmmm.

But unfortunately, after about 30 minutes, I started losing the boys.  G starts eyeing the Wii like he usually does when there is a piece of candy left unattended on the table.  C starts to fidget around thinking that there is a football game on somewhere - even a repeat from over the weekend.  Even Mom is starting to talk about watching "The Voice" upstairs.  I can't win.  Doesn't anyone like this movie, it's so good.  Seriously, can't anyone sit down with me and watch this movie?  Maybe I should wake DLG up to watch this movie with me.

After about 35 minutes, I relent and turn the movie off.  I guess I'll try some other day.

Funny thing is, though, when I asked the boys if they liked the movie, they both answered yes.  Resoundingly.  I think they were doing that for me, honestly.

Well, we still have Major League, I guess.

Wait...Who's Tiger Woods Again?

So this is what it has come to.  As I'm watching the 2012 Ryder Cup at Medinah Country Club outside of Chicago, G sits next to me.  Presuming that he wants to change the station to Jesse or to Victorious, I brace for the inevitable questions about changing the station.  But he surprised me today.  He wants to watch golf with me!  Come on over.

We're watching the afternoon Best Ball format on Saturday afternoon, paying particular attention to the match between Tiger Woods and Steve Stricker for the USA and Luke Donald and Sergio Garcia for the Europeans.  Although the US is ahead 10-4 as we start to watch, I'm most interested in this Woods' match.  Down by 4 shots at the turn, the Americans are storming back just as G sits next to me. 

"Who are we rooting for Dad?"  G asks me as he jumps on the couch.

"The Americans."  I answer as I pick up my drink right before he spills it on me.

"Are they the ones with the ugly pick shirts?" G asks me.

"No those are the Europeans.  They always wear terrible clothing.  I think they are either color blind, or fashion in Milan and Paris is all out of whack."  I explain to him.  I'm a true definition of a homer, I guess.   And on top of that, he doesn't really get my poor excuse for a joke.

"Well I'm rooting for who ever you are rooting for."  Sounds good.  Go USA!

So we start watching together.  Just as Tiger Woods does his patented point and walk toward a putt that he knows is going in, G asks me a startling question.

"Who's that guy?"

"You mean Tiger Woods?" I look at him with a weird look on my face (I'm sure).  He's playing really well and the Americans might pull this game out."

"Wait...who's Tiger Woods again?  I mean, is he making a come back?  Didn't you say his career was over and that he was never going to golf again?"  Jeez, it's been a long three years since that fateful Thanksgiving night back in 2009 when Tiger Woods life changed forever.

Yeah, it's been a long time and I've forgiven him.  I think we all have.  That's just the nature of our society.  And now as he's growing a little older, he is not as dominant as he once was.  In fact some of us might consider his an underdog.  Flashes of brilliance from Woods are few and far between.  He's won some tournaments in the last three years, but in the Majors, except for one amazing front Nine performance at the 2011 Masters, Woods is no longer the most dominant golfer on the PGA.  And that's OK with me.  It's more fun this way.

I keep this in mind as we watch that point and walk this afternoon from Woods.  He's sticking his approaches, his drives are long and mostly straight and he has that look in his eye that we haven't seen in 4 years.  Although they came up short (as did Johnson and Dufner in the last match of the afternoon against Rory McIlroy and Ian Poulter), I'm optimistic about the Singles matches tomorrow morning.  And with a 10-6 lead, I don't even think NBC can jinx the US team into images of the 1999 Ryder Cup at Brookline Country Club.

Maybe G won't know Tiger Woods as well as we do.  And maybe Woods will never win another Major again.  But watching this match makes me remember why watching Woods is so fascinating.  The Ryder Cup brings this out in everyone.

Oh yeah.  I can't stand Ian Poulter either.

I Really Want the UFL to Succeed

Who doesn't love professional football in Las Vegas?  I know, we have to endure professional football in the middle of Virginia, Sacramento and Omaha to see Las Vegas Football, but who cares?  Who doesn't love cringing when you think about the referees who are covering these games when all of the good low level officials are in the NFL right now (or at least they were yesterday)?  Who doesn't love the fact that the biggest name in this league is Jim Fassel, the former Giants head coach and the Las Vegas Locos head coach?  Welcome to the United Football League.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now you may think that I gave up on this developmental football league after the Hartford Colonials and Jerry Glanville were taken from us die hard fans in New England with the disbanding of the Hartford Colonials for the 2011-2012 season.  But as I'm watching the Mountain Lions' "to do" checklist for the 2012-13 season during their season opener vs the Locos, I can't help but get sucked back in.  This little league that could may actually make it.  And I see that one of their top players to watch is Josh Johnson - I mean we are steps away from a Doug Flutie sighting for Christ's sake!  Bring on more UFL has beens and never-will-bes!

Back to the game.  Adam Archeleta and Brent Stover are calling the action for the CBS Sports Network (I didn't event know that this television station existed!!) and Lauren Gardner is the sideline reporter, just like NFL Football.  That's where the on-field similarities with the NFL ends, but I cant help but wonder though, if this is really a chance at big time football.  They are excited, and so am I.  So really who cares if the brand of football is mediocre and that the Crimson Tide could easily handle any one of these four teams?  I say, what can we do to help.  Well, if you're asking me, my suggestions can be boiled down to about three suggestions.

1.  Bring on the XFL.  While the fake story lines don't cut the mustard, some of the personalities are memorable and should be implemented here.  I mean who doesn't remember "He Hate Me?"  If we include more personality in this game, more people would turn in and watch Omaha vs Sacramento.

2.  Amp up the sex and violence appeal.  Similar to some of the wrestling associations that came up to fight it out with the WWE, increasing the sex and violence appeal would go a long way into keeping eyes glued to the screen.

3.  Open up the scoring.  I love flea flickers, long passes, reverses and gadget plays.  If the scoring were to increase then the eyes would start looking at the screen.  Call pass interference tightly and crack down on defensive schemes.  Open up the holding penalties and interference calls to exploit a greater passer attack.  When this gets opened up, the the gadget plays will work.

And if the referees come back?  The UFL will be hiring new officials left and right.  And I doubt any of them have a UFL team down on Facebook as their favorite team.  But maybe they will.

Someday.